The Muppets Go Under Cover transcript
Prologue: Opening credits/''God Bless the U.S.A. 'Disney Production pictures presents' 'The Muppets Go Under Cover' Kermit: "Well, you guys, now that Constantine is back where he belongs, what do you say we do a new opening musical number?" 'Directed by James Bobin' [''God Bless the U.S.A. Piano Music In Background] Produced by David Hoberman and Todd Lieberman Rizzo: "Oh, I'm so proud and cheerful, it's de day I became an official U.S.A. citizen." Starring the following: Gonzo: "That's wonderful, Rizzo, I remember the day I became a U.S.A. citizen." Jack Black Walter: "I really love this country." Nathan Lane Statler: If tomorrow all the things were gone, I'd work for all my life Drew Barrymore Waldorf: and I had to start again with just my children and my wife Timothy Dalton Kermit: I'd thank my lucky stars to be living here today, 'cause the flag still stands for freedom, and they can't take that away Ben Stiller Fozzie: and I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free Bailee Madison Gonzo: and I won't forget the men who died, who gave that right to me Elijah Wood Rizzo: and I'd gladly stand up next t'ya, and defend ha' still today, 'cause dere ain't no doubt I love dis land, God bless de U.S.A. Glenn Close Continues In Background William Shatner Clifford: "Where all people of all nations can follow their dreams and visions and walk around lovin' and carin'." Jim Parsons Scooter: "An American melting pot: Robin the Frog? Sam the Eagle? Miss Piggy? Lew Zealand? Floyd Pepper? Rowlf? Walter?" Denis Leary Robin: from the lakes of Minnesota, to the hills of Tennesee, across the plains of Texas, from sea to shining sea Angela Lansbury Sam: from Detroit down to Houston, and New York to L.A., well there’s pride in every American heart, and it's time to stand and say Jonah Hill Miss Piggy: and I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free Dakota Fanning Scooter: and I won't forget the men who died, who gave that right to me Robert De Niro Lew Zealand: and I'd gladly stand up next to you, and defend her still today, 'cause there ain't no doubt I love this land, God bless the U.S.A. Whoopi Goldberg Rowlf: and I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free David DeLuise Floyd: and I won’t forget the men who died, who gave that right to me Jane Lynch Walter: and I'd gladly stand up next to you, and defend her still today, ‘cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land, God bless the U.S.A. Josh Hutcherson Kermit: "Alright, nice job, everybody." Kevin Spacey Scooter: "We know, Kermit, and we're also proud to have you as our good friend and leader." Johnny Galecki Dr. Teeth: "It's gonna be the best thing that's ever happened to all of us in our entire lives." and Zach Galifianakis as Hobo Joe Animal: "No doubt about it." Scene 1: Constantine and Miss Poogy's evil lair Constantine: "Well, Miss Poogy, you know what us villains say? it's not too easy being mean." Miss Poogy: "You can say that again, but hey, you wouldn't happen to have a musical number of your own, would you?" Constantine: "I will see what I can do." Miss Poogy: "Hit it, guys!" Music Playing In Background Constantine: At 1st I was afraid, I was petrified, kept thinking I could never live ''without you by my side, but then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong, and I grew strong, and I learned how to get along Constantine: and so you're back from outer space I just walked in to find you here' with that sad look upon your face I should've changed that stupid lock I should have made you leave your key If I had known for just 1 2nd you'd be back to bother me Constantine: go on now go, walk out the door just turn around now 'Cause you're not welcome anymore weren't you the 1 who tried to hurt me with goodbye? did you think I'd crumble? did you think I'd lay down and die? Constantine: Oh no, not I, I will survive oh, as long as I know how to live I know I'll stay alive I've got all my life to live and I've got all my evil plans to give and I'll survive, I will survive, oh yeah Music Playing In Background Constantine: it took all the strength I had not to fall apart kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart and I spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself I used to cry but now I hold my head up high Constantine: and you see me, somebody new I'm not that chained up little person still in love with you and so you felt like dropping in and just expect me to be free but now I'm saving all my evil plans '''''for somebody to take over the city for me Constantine: go on now go, walk out the door just turn around now 'Cause you're not welcome anymore weren't you the 1 who tried to break me with goodbye? did you think I'd crumble? did you think I'd lay down and die? Constantine: Oh no, not I, I will survive oh, as long as I know how to live '''''I know I'll stay alive I've got all my life to live and I've got all my love to give and I'll survive, I will survive, oh Constantine: go on now go, walk out the door just turn around now 'cause you're not welcome anymore Constantine: weren't you the 1 who tried to break me with goodbye? did you think I'd crumble? did you think I'd lay down and die? Constantine: Oh no, not I, I will survive oh, as long as I know how to live I know I'll stay alive I've got all my life to live and I've got all my evil plans to give and I'll survive, I will survive I will survive Miss Poogy: "Wonderful idea, Constantine, now let's formulate our plan." Constantine: "Here's our plan: we sneak off to the Mickey Rooney Memorial Hotel, go right inside, and when we find Miss Piggy, we capture her and bring her to our evil lair as our prisoner." Miss Poogy: "It just might work." Scene 2: Bob Hoskins Memorial Nature Park Walter: "What a nice day this is turning out to be at Bob Hoskins Memorial Nature Park." Skeeter: "And I like how they did the John Denver Memorial Nature Center real good." Scooter: "You said it, Skeeter." Kermit: "Hey, Scooter, who's that you got with you?" Scooter: "Oh, Kermit, you remember my twin sister, Skeeter, right?" Kermit: "Oh yes, of course I do, we've known Skeeter ever since our child hood years." Rowlf: "Well, Skeeter, we haven't seen you around lately." Skeeter: "I know, Rowlf, and that must be your new good friend, Walter that's right with you guys." Harold: (off screen) "Fresh soft served ice cream, nice and cold, come and get it while it's fresh." Walter: "There's Harold the Ice Cream Vendor, you guys, I'll be right back, you guys stay right here." Walter goes off to Harold, who stops right by in front of the picnic table. Walter: "Hi there, I'd like a real good ice cream treat for here, please." Harold: "Now what would you like? French vanilla? double dark chocolate? pink strawberry? red cherry? blue raspberry? banana maple?" Walter: "I'll choose a snack size double dark chocolate, please, oh, and don't forget an orange blossom honey flavor 1 for Fozzie, a blue raspberry for Gonzo, a pink strawberry for Rizzo, a red cherry for Scooter, a blueberry banana for Skeeter, a French vanilla for Rowlf and last but not least, a dragon fly ripple for Kermit, if you insist, please." Harold: "Sounds disgusting, but these'll do nicely." Harold gives Walter the entire ice cream tray with 7 ice cream treats Harold: "Now don't get them mixed up, got it?" Walter: "Sure, I got it." Walter carefully carries the entire ice cream tray with 7 ice cream treats for him and his good friends. Walter: "Hey, you guys, I'm back, and I got the ice cream treats for me and you guys. Walter gives them to his good friends, but he keeps the snack size double dark chocolate 1 for himself. Scooter: "Wow, thanks, Walter, these are terrific." Rowlf: "These taste real good." Gonzo: "And they're very flavorful as well too." Kermit: "Well, you guys, right after we finish our ice cream treats, how 'bout we do another show at the Muppet Theater?" Skeeter: "What a good idea." Scene 3: The Muppet Theater Audience Member # 1: "1 ticket, please, I can't wait to see The Muppet Show live onstage." Ticket Booth Owner: "Okay, here you go, enjoy the show, have a nice evenin'." The guest stars show up. Ticket Booth Owner: "Do you guys need any tickets?" Guest star # 1: "No thanks, we're the guest stars for every single episode." Guest Star # 2: "We're good to go in right now." Ticket Booth Owner: "Alright, good luck." The guest stars go inside the Muppet Theater. Kermit: "Wow, (Guest Star's Name), (Guest Star's Name), (Guest Star's Name), (Guest Star's Name), (Guest Star's Name), (Guest Star's Name), (Guest Star's Name), (Guest Star's Name), (Guest Star's Name), (Guest Star's Name), (Guest Star's Name), (Guest Star's Name) and (Guest Star's Name)? wow, you guys are all here." Scooter: "The inside of the theater is right this way, please, follow me, everybody." Everybody else follows Scooter inside the Muppet Theater. Scooter goes over to the guest star's dressing room door. Scooter: On Door "(Guest Star's Name), oh (Guest Star's Name)? 28 2nds 'til curtain, Mr. (Guest Star's Last Name) Guest Star: "Thanks, Scooter, I'll be ready to perform with you guys in a jiffy." Scooter: "It must be a pretty fast night out there." Guest Star: "It sure is though." Cut to Kermit appearing through The Muppet Show Logo. Kermit: "It's The Muppet Show, with our very special guest star and son of the late Dom DeLuise, Mr. (Guest Star's Name), yaaaaaaaay!" [The Muppet Show Theme Music Playing In Background] Playing Good Notes On Piano Female Muppet friends: It's time to play the music, it's time to light the lights, it's time to meet the Muppets on The Muppet Show tonight Male Muppet Friends: It's time to put on make up, it's time to dress up right, it's time to raise the curtain on The Muppet Show Tonight Waldorf: why do we always come here? Statler: I guess we'll never know Waldorf: it's like some kind of torture Statler and Waldorf: to have to watch the show Continues In Background Kermit: and now let's get things started Miss Piggy: why don't you get things started? Kermit: it's time to get things started Kermit and Muppet friends: on the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational, this is what we call The Muppet Show...... Of Monkeys Screeching Kermit: "Ladies and gentlemen, people of all ages, welcome to The Muppet Show, I know you're all very excited, 'cause tonight's special guest star is the son of the late Dom DeLuise, Mr. (Guest Star's Name), but 1st, we've got an opening musical number, so here's Piggy performing The Locomotion." Opening Musical #: The Locomotion Playing Music On Piano Miss Piggy: Everybody's doing a brand new dance now Backup Female Whatnots: come on, baby, do the locomotion Miss Piggy: I know you'll get to like it if you give it a chance now Backup Female Whatnots: come on, baby, do the locomotion Miss Piggy: My little niece and nephew can do it with ease it's easier than learnin' your 1, 2, 3's so come on, come on, do the locomotion with me Miss Piggy: You gotta swing your hips now, baby come on baby, jump up, jump back well, I think you've got the knack Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Miss Piggy: Now that you can do it, let's make a chain now Backup Female Singers: come on, baby, do the locomotion Miss Piggy: a chugga, chugga, motion like a railroad train now Backup Female Whatnots: come on, baby, do the locomotion Miss Piggy: do it nice and easy now don't lose control a little bit of rhythm and a lot of soul so come on, come on, do the locomotion with me Miss Piggy and Backup Female Whatnots: Oh yeah do the locomotion do the locomotion yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Miss Piggy: Move around the floor in a locomotion Backup Female Whatnots: come on, baby, do the locomotion Miss Piggy: do it holding hands like you got the notion Backup Female Whatnots: come on, baby, do the locomotion Miss Piggy: There's never been a dance that's so easy to do it even makes you happy when you're feeling blue so come on, come on, do the locomotion with me Miss Piggy: you gotta swing your hips now, baby come on, baby, jump up, jump back well I think you've got the knack Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Miss Piggy: everybody's doing a brand new dance now Backup Female Whatnots: come on, baby, do the locomotion Miss Piggy: I know you'll get to like it, if you give it a chance now Backup Female Whatnots: come on, baby, do the locomotion Miss Piggy: Do it nice and easy now don't lose control a little bit of rhythm and a lot of soul so come on, come on, do the locomotion come on, come on, do it with me the locomotion, come on, come on the locomotion, come on, come on the locomotion, come on, come on the locomotion, come on, come on the locomotion, come on, come on the locomotion, come on, come on the locomotion, come on, come on do the locomotion with me Cut to Statler and Waldorf in their balcony box..... Waldorf: "So, Statler, have you ever been on a railroad train before?" Statler: "Not particularly, Waldorf, but I did ride a charter bus." Waldorf: "Then it must've been a real long ride." Stalter: "It certainly was." Statler and Waldorf: Uncontrollably Cut back to Kermit in his office....... Kermit: "Alright, Piggy, you did great out there." Miss Piggy: "Thanks a bunch." Kermit: "Alright, let's see, what' next? (he looks at the list) oh, Bear On Patrol is next, Bear On Patrol is next onstage, everybody!" Various people at their houses are watching the episode of The Muppet Show on television. ''Bear On Patrol'' Sketch #: Graffiti on the bathroom walls Announcer: "And now, ridding the world of evil, here's Bear On patrol." Fozzie/Patrol Bear: "Alright, just a few more steps, right this way, perfect." Link Hogthrob/Officer Hogthrob: "So, what brings you here, Patrol Bear?" Fozzie/Patrol Bear: "I found this monkey spraying graffiti on the bathroom walls." Sal: "But I'm innocent, I wouldn't do anything like that, it must've been a dangerous criminal!" Link Hogthrob/Officer Hogthrob: "Very well then, tell me your name." Sal: "Sal Minella, as in the joke pun: salmonella." Fozzie/Patrol Bear: "Now that's a good joke I can really take." Link Hogthrob/Officer Hogthrob: "Sal Minella, now let's see if you're on the guilty list or the innocent list." Link Hogthrob/Officer Hogthrob checks the guilty list, but Sal's name isn't on there, it's on the innocent list. Link Hogthrob/Officer Hogthrob: "Oh my gosh, Sal, I think you're absolutely right, you're innocent after all, in that case, Patrol Bear, you can let him go free at last." Fozzie/Patrol Bear: "Yes, Officer Hogthrob sir." Fozzie/Patrol Bear lets Sal go free at last. Cut back to Statler and Waldorf in the balcony....... Statler: "Boy, that monkey sure can pay full price." Waldorf: "Good, then I don't think he'll go extremely ape for cash." Statler and Waldorf: Uncontrollably Again Talk Spot: Kermit and The Guest Star speak with 1 another about what movies they like Kermit: "So, Guest Star's 1st name, what movies do you like?" Guest Star: "Well, Kermit, I like science fiction and comic book hero movies on television." Kermit: "Sounds thrilling, well, I like comedy musical movies myself." Guest Star: "Then that makes you the lucky 1." At the Dance sketch # Dance Music Playing In Background Everybody else is dancing with their female partners. Walter: "Left and right, left and right." Kermit: "So, Piggy, how's your entire day been lately?" Miss Piggy: "Oh, pretty good so far." George: "You know, Mildred, I can never take my eyes off you just as long as I live." Mildred Huxtetter: "Neither can I, George, neither can I." Cut back to Statler and Waldorf in the balcony again....... Waldorf: "You know, Statler, sometimes I enjoy dancing like that." Statler: "Well, so do I." Statler and Waldorf: Uncontrollably Again Cut back to Kermit in his office again....... Kermit: "Alright, Pigs In Space, Pigs In Space is next onstage, everybody!" ''Pigs In Space'' Sketch #: Gravity Machine 900 Announcer: "And now it's time for Pigs In Spaaaace, starring Captain Link Hogthrob, 1st Mate Piggy and the smart and intelligent, Dr. Strangepork, where we last left our heroes on the Swine Trek." Link Hogthrob: "Boy, it sure is boring around here." Miss Piggy/1st Mate Piggy: "Not as boring as it was last time." Dr. Strangepork: "Check it out, guys, my newest invention." Miss Piggy/1st Mate Piggy: "What kind of an invention do you call that?" Dr. Strangepork: "I call it the Gravity Machine 900, when I push this red button, everything else begins floating up and down." Dr. Strangepork pushes the red button, and everything else begins floating up and down. Link Hogthrob: "Hey, wait just 1 minute, we're suddenly floating right up!" Miss Piggy/1st Mate Piggy: "How do we get down from here?" Dr. Strangepork: "Well, I just push the red button and down you go." Dr. Strangepork pushes the red button again, and Link Hogthrob and 1st Mate Piggy come right down. Link Hogthrob: "Now that's a relief." Miss Piggy/1st Mate Piggy: "I'll say to that." Announcer: "Does Captain Link Hogthrob know about a space alien invasion? will 1st Mate Piggy ever believe what's going on? will Dr. Strangepork ever come up with a new invention? find out on the next exciting episode of Pigs In Spaaaace." ''Sam's Editorial Speech'' Sam goes right up to the podium. Sam: "Good evening, fellow Americans, it is my good pleasure to have you all here, 'cause tonight, we're gonna discuss about video game violence." Sam: Throat Sam: "Now, video game violence, it can happen in the real universe and it can happen in the fantasy universe, but it can also cause young kids and teens to go all hyper and crazy, so beware of video game violence, that's all I'm saying." ''The Swedish Chef'' sketch #: Caramel covered popcorn balls Playing In Background Swedish Chef: Yorn desh born, der ritt de gitt der gue, orn desh, dee born desh, de umn bork, bork, bork Swedish Chef: "Tuneeght, ve-a're-a mekeeng ceremel cufered pupcurn bells ." Swedish Chef: "Furst ve-a preheet zee oofee tu tvu hoondred degrees." Swedish Chef: "Next ve-a poot in sefee qooerts ooff pupped pupcurn in zee beeg meexing bool." The Swedish Chef puts in 7 quarts of popped popcorn in the big mixing bowl. Swedish Chef: "Poot in oone-a coop ooff sooger." The Swedish Chef puts 1 cup of sugar in the big mixing bowl. Swedish Chef: "Next, poot in oone-a coop ooff leeght curn syroop." The Swedish Chef puts 1 cup of light corn syrup in the mixing bowl as well. Swedish Chef: "One-a fuoort coop ooff veter ." The Swedish Chef puts 1/4th cup of water in the big mixing bowl as well too. Swedish Chef: "One-a fuoort teespuun ooff selt ." The Swedish Chef puts 1/4th teaspoon of salt in the big mixing bowl as well too. Swedish Chef: "Three-a teblespuuns ooff bootter." The Swedish Chef puts 3 tablespoons of butter in the mixing bowl as well too. Swedish Chef: "One-a teespuun ooff funeella ixtrect." The Swedish Chef puts 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract in the mixing bowl as well too. Swedish Chef: "Okey, noo ve-a du zee meexing ." The Swedish Chef mixes the ingredients, 'til he makes all of the popcorn balls, then puts them in the oven. Swedish Chef: "Noo ve-a veeet fur ebuoot tventy-feefe-a meenootes ." Ticking Dings The Swedish Chef takes the popcorn balls outta the oven and places the entire tray on the counter. Swedish Chef: "Noo ve-a poot ceremel sooce-a oon ifery seengle-a oone-a ooff zeem ." The Swedish Chef puts the caramel sauce on the popcorn balls, 'til he's all finished. Swedish Chef: "Und thet's ixectly hoo yuoo meke-a ceremel cufered pupcurn bells." The popcorn balls come to life. Popcorn Ball # 1: "I agree with him here." Popcorn Ball # 2: "I just love the smell of caramel sauce in the evening time." Popcorn Ball # 3: "You can say that again." Cut back to Statler and Waldorf in the balcony once again. Waldorf: "Well, he sure is good at making those popcorn balls." Statler: "Yeah right, 'til he gets much better at it." Statler and Waldorf: Uncontrollably Once Again Cut back to Kermit in his office once again...... Kermit: "Veterinarian's Hospital is next, Veterinarian's Hospital is next onstage, everybody." ''Veterinarian's Hospital'' sketch #: Gonzo as the patient Announcer: "And now, Veterinarian's Hospital, the continuing story of a quack, who's gone to the dogs." Rowlf/Dr. Bob: "So just as I took a nice long walk around Richard Hunt Memorial Beach, I found this nice looking clam shell music box, and it just had to clam up." Janice/Nurse Janice: "Oh, Dr. Bob, you and your sea shell jokes." Miss Piggy/Nurse Piggy: "So, Dr. Bob, who's our patient this time?" Dr. Bob: "Observe and watch." Dr. Bob pulls down the corner of the green quilt to reveal Gonzo as their patient. Gonzo: "Oh dear me, what happened last evening?" Janice/Nurse Janice: "Dr. Bob, how is he?" Rowlf/Dr. Bob: "Well, I say he's a bit blue around the edges." Miss Piggy/Nurse Piggy: "Well, Gonzo, what just happened to you last evening?" Gonzo: "Well, I went water-skiing and my water-skis went outta control, then suddenly, I hit a real big rock, and that's exactly what happened." Rowlf/Dr. Bob: "Well, good thing you were wearing your helmet." Gonzo: "Yeah, that's right, I was." Announcer: "Will Dr. Bob ever watch a science fiction movie? will Nurse Piggy ever use her nursing tools properly? does Nurse Janice know what she's doing? tune in next time to hear Nurse Piggy say," Miss Piggy/Nurse Piggy: "Dr. Bob? have you got any results for this patient?" Rowlf/Dr. Bob: "Well, Nurse Piggy, he just needs to rest his arms and legs." Cut back to Statler and Waldorf in the balcony once again........ Statler: "Tell me, Waldorf, have you ever had a blood transplant before?" Waldorf: "No, but I've had a couple of flu shots." Statler: "Then that makes you 1'' healthy man." Statler and Waldorf: Uncontrollably Once Again Cut back to Kermit in his office once again...... Kermit: "Muppet Labs is next, Muppet Labs is next onstage, everybody." ''Muppet Labs'' sketch #: Fizzy Fruit Punch Potion [Muppet Labs Theme Music Playing In Background] Ticking Bunsen: "Dr. Bunsen Honeydew here, welcoming you to Muppet Labs where the future is being made today." (brief pause) Bunsen: "That's right, we're testing out our newest creation: the Fizzy Fruit Punch Potion, it tastes just like a yummy goody fruit punch when you take 1 sip of it, but this of course, goes to my faithful assistant, Beaker." Bunsen: "Come on out here, Beaker." Beaker: "Mee, mo, mee, mo, mee, mo, mee." Bunsen: "Very well, Beaker, this way, that's it, just a little more, perfect." Beaker takes his place at the experimenting counter. Bunsen: "Now, Beaker, all you need to do is take 1 sip of this Fizzy Fruit Punch Potion, then you'll look absolutely perfect, now go ahead, take 1 sip of it." Beaker takes 1 sip of the Fizzy Fruit Punch Potion and is now delighted. Bunsen: "Just as you can see a Fizzy Fruit Punch Potion can be the perfect beverage for your TV dinner snacks at home." Suddenly, Beaker begins floating all over the place. Beaker: And Meeping In Alarm Bunsen: "Whoa, Beaker, get down from there or else you'll crash all over the entire place." Beaker: "Mee, mo, mee, mo, mee, mo, mee, mo, mee!" Bunsen: "Well, that's all we have for tonight, so join us here at Muppet Labs, where the future is being made today." Cut back to Statler and Waldorf in the balcony once again.... Waldorf: "Wow, that tall young man can float just about anywhere!" Statler: "Is it because of some fizzy potion experiment?" Waldorf: "Well, it kinda makes you feel more ''bubbly on the inside!" Statler and Waldorf: Uncontrollably Once Again Cut back to Kermit going back onstage..... Kermit: "And now, ladies and gentlemen, here's our closing musical number: Simon Smith and His Amazing Dancing Bear." Closing Musical #: Simon Smith and His Amazing Dancing Bear Rowlf: Music On Piano Keys Scooter: I may go out tomorrow if I can borrow a coat to wear, oh I'd step out in style with my sincere smile and my dancing bear, outrageous, alarming, courageous, charming oh who would thought a boy and bear could be well accepted everywhere? it's just amazing how fair people can be Music Continues Playing Scooter: seen at the nicest places where well-fed faces all stop to stare, making the grandest entrance is Simon Smith and his dancing bear, they'll love us Fozzie: Won't they? Scooter: they feed us Fozzie: don't they? Scooter: oh who would think a boy and bear could be well accepted everywhere? it's just amazing '''''how fair people can be Music Continues Scooter: Oh who needs money? Fozzie: When we're funny, ah Scooter: the great attraction everywhere will be Simon Smith and his amazing dancing bear Fozzie: "Together, yes, oh yes, thank you!" Cut back to Statler and Waldorf in the balcony once more.... Waldorf: "You know, Statler, this song reminds me of when the late Juliet Prowse guest starred on our show right before she passed away from complications of pancreatic cancer at the age of 59 back on Saturday, September 14, 1996." Statler: "Well, it does give back a lot of memories." Waldorf: "And it seems that their child hood is returning." Statler and Waldorf: Uncontrollably Once More Welcoming the Guest Star onstage Kermit: "Thank you, everybody for coming here tonight, you've all been such a wonderful audience out here, but right now, I'd like you to meet somebody very talented and very popular, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. (Guest Star's Name), yaaaaaaaay!" The Guest Star arrives onstage..... Guest Star: "Thanks, you guys, I've been wanting to appear on the show in honor of my father's memories, you might remember him as Bernie the Hollywood Agent in The Muppet Movie right after he appeared on this show back in the 70s." Scooter: "That sounds like real good memories of your father's career, (Guest Star's 1st name)." Guest Star: "Thanks, Scooter, I really appreciate what you said about me." Kermit: "Well, that's good, but okay, everybody, we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show." [The Muppet Show Ending Credits Music In Background] Statler: "Well, now that this show is over, let's all head on out to take a vacation." Waldorf: "You can say that again." Statler and Waldorf: Uncontrollably Again Scooter: "Alright, everybody, let's all go down to the Mickey Rooney Memorial Hotel and spend the night there!" Everybody else exits the Muppet Theater, then gets on the Electric Mayhem Bus. Scene 4: The Mickey Rooney Memorial Hotel Kermit: "Well, gang, here we are, the Mickey Rooney Memorial Hotel." Walter: "Wow, this place looks pretty wild." Fozzie: "I know, Walter, it kind of reminds me of a real good joke." Fozzie: "Why did the duck cross the road? (brief pause) because the chicken took a vacation, get it? chicken? vacation? wocka, wocka." Miss Piggy: "Very hilarious, Fozzie." Kermit, Walter and the rest of the Muppet friends walk right over to Pops, who's right at the front desk. Pops: "Hello and welcome to the Mickey Rooney Memorial Hotel, how can I be of service?" Kermit: "My good friends and I are looking for some places to stay overnight." Pops: "Very well then, I'm renting you all of the bedrooms you like." Walter: "Oh good, now that we can afford." Pops: "Okay, enjoy your overnight stay." Gonzo: "Kermit, you and I are gonna sleep in the 1st bedroom, while Fozzie and Walter sleep in the 2nd bedroom, Miss Piggy and Janice sleep in the 3rd bedroom, Camilla sleeps in an empty nest, Rizzo and Pepe sleep in the 4th bedroom, Robin and Bean sleep in the 5th bedroom, Scooter and Skeeter sleep in the 6th bedroom, Dr. Teeth and Zoot sleep in the 7th bedroom, Lew Zealand and Crazy Harry sleep in the 8th bedroom and Floyd and Animal sleep in the 9th bedroom." Kermit: "Good plan, Gonzo, now we don't need to worry about taking much space during bedtime." Meanwhile in Kermit and Gonzo's hotel bedroom......... Kermit: "Well, Gonzo, it's 5:39 PM, it might be getting closer to dinner time, so it's best that we order room service." Gonzo: "Great idea, Kermit, let's order some Chinese food on the wireless telephone." Kermit dials the correct telephone #, and calls the Chinese Restaurant Owner. Chinese Restaurant Owner: (on his telephone) "Hello, this is China House, what can I do for you guys?" Kermit: (on the wireless telephone) "Well, I would like to order some shrimp and vegetarian eggrolls, beef with green peppers that Animal likes the most, and we also want a large Chinese noodle soup and some egg foo young as well, but don't forget the fortune cookies." Chinese Restaurant Owner: (still on his telephone) "Very well then, I'll arrive here with the Chinese food very shortly." Kermit: (still on the wireless telephone) "Alright, thanks, bye, I'll see you in person." Kermit hangs up the wireless telephone. Gonzo: "So who did we call for dinner tonight?" Kermit: "Well, I just got off the telephone with the owner of China House, he said he'll arrive here with our dinner meal very shorty." Gonzo: "Oh that's good, 'cause you know how Animal and Rizzo are lately." Category:Transcripts